This one in particular pissed me off. I have a fairly finely tuned bullshit filter from years of the IT trenches and this one got past me. I am expecting packages, one of them is late. I open my mailbox (snailmail) and I see what appears to be a postcard from a delivery service I’ve never heard of saying they’re holding one of my packages. Figuring it’s some quirk of amazon’s craptastic marketplace I do what anyone else would do and I call them.
I’m glad I used google voice, I’ll put it that way.
Their operators have a slick script where they have to “verify” the package number, they have to verify your name and address. The package “is a large box, is this what you were expecting?” Give them your information to confirm who you are and they change from being a package delivery service to telling you that the package is a free bottle of tide (8oz) if they could come by and test your water in your home and tell you about special offers.
I told the lady to stop right there.
I said this wasn’t why I called. “You are to erase my information, you will not call me again. You will put me on your do not contact list. Have I made myself perfectly clear?”
“So are you not interested in our offer?”
“Have I made myself perfectly clear about what you are to do? You have misrepresented yourself as a delivery company and nowhere on your mail does it state you are an advertising agency. You have lied to me and you are not to contact me.”
“Sir you called us.”
“I want to speak to your manager.”
She hung up the phone.
So now I’m going to post about it, I’m going to call the BBB and I’m going to file a complaint with the FTC. It’s illegal for a company to misrepresent themselves and nowhere does it state that this is an advertisement. I did end up calling back and getting put on the do not solicit list and the second operator was actually a nice guy.
The back of the advert has your address on it and what appears to be Barack Obama delivering your mail. The return address is “PM Delivery Services, 1676 Providence Blvd, Deltona, FL 32725″. The front has a yellow banner which says “IMPORTANT NOTICE” and then the text follows: “We have been trying to deliver and important package to your home. As always, we try to offer prompt and courteous service. Therefore, please contact our office during business hours @ 1-888-855-7522 and ask for delivery services. We will deliver your package promptly”. There is a tracking number in the bottom right. Pic:
This is actually the most read page on this blog, which amuses me endlessly because it means I’ve utterly failed to capture the interest of people for anything else I write about. That being said, people have been really good about posting the updates to these in the comments section, bravo to the readers! I never thought it would happen but… they actually sent me the new card. It’s not like it’s hard to figure out who I am given the name of the blog.
As others have pointed out, the new address is:
577 Deltona Blvd. #18
Deltona, FL 32725
The new “Tracking Number” is “AB-0827″. The card has a “presorted first class” stamp which is just hilarious that the company can’t be arsed to leave a note when it tries to deliver the completely nonexistent package.
The back reads the same with the phone number being 1-888-959-3866.