Harry Potter 7b: Thank God it’s the End

First a note on the theater. I hate it when the theater experience is so bad it rationalizes my purchase of a giant TV. I go to the movies for something to do to get away from my kid. In this case my mother in law was watching Alex for us and it was a nice thing to do with my wife. Unfortunately we went to the Frank Theater chain down here in Ocean City, NJ. Not only do they not open the lobby until they’re literally minutes from showing the film, but the film starts on time. God help you if you’re not first in line. The theater was musty, had a noisy dehumidifier in it, the sound was muddy and the screen was unfocused. The worst of it was that the silvering was going on the screen so the top right was weirdly dark. I should have walked out.

That being said, it was a really good movie and they should have just cut it right in the middle. How it should have ended: Snape accuses Dumbledor of raising Harry “like a pig for the slaughter”, we find out about Snapes weird obsession with Harry’s mom, Dumbledor has a moral argument with Snape over the bodycount getting behind Harry is going to take and dies miserably in a moral quandary utterly broken. When they line up the wizards after Harry’s “death”, they have another moral discussion and we have a civil war between families. It all ends when they hang the Malfroys for high treason for throwing their lot in with Dumbledor and with Voldemort. It’s OK for Harry to spring back to life, only to leave him utterly broken when he learns about the destruction people brought on themselves in his name. The snake is killed and Harry throws himself off the bridge among falling bodies of the still dueling wizards and both Harry and Voldemort die. Everyone who has died on both sides have given their lives in vain.

What actually happened: Voldemort, a supposed true master of magic and the dark arts, forgot that you own a wand when you disarm someone and “accidentally” cast the killing curse on Harry. This is after Voldemort reveals that the wand “resists him” and he can “feel it”. Oh, did I mention that Harry can come back to life in some sort of weird cosmic train station but no-one else who was pivotal to the cause can?

Then we’re treated to “19 years later” which sets up the next film where Harry and whatever her name is, the hot bitch and Ron send their kids off to the New Hogwarts.

Way to ruin it, Rowling. That’s AVATAR level bullshit right there.

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2 thoughts on “Harry Potter 7b: Thank God it’s the End

  1. My favorite part was trying to pretend that 18 year old actors and actresses were now in their late thirties. You couldn’t have given some older actors some more screen time?

  2. yeah really, or at least make them taller. And fatter. I can personally attest to the fact that I am now taller and fatter as I age. Gray hairs? TONS OF THOSE TOO.

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