The Jarmidor: Performance Monitoring

I was up at Pet Smart buying cat food since the cats have managed to eat us out of house and home yet again and I happened to be looking at the reptiles.

Suddenly, inspiration struck. Reptiles need the right temperature, because they are cold blooded, but they also live in a humid, humid rainforest. What else lives in a tropical climate?

Free range cigars, that’s what.

I wandered over to the reptile aisle and sure enough there were enough hygrometers to monitor every planet in the solar system. (About 9). Now, people commonly complain the hygrometer in their humidor is crap and can be as far as 10% off. To figure out if we’re buying a good one or not we need to compare. Instrumentation is one of those things where you don’t need to test it to make sure it works, the majority of it merely has to agree. In other words, if the standard deviation is small, then we know the instrument is probably mostly correct and we know about how far off they can be. For this trick, we try to buy one representing the mean value.

In my case, out of 9 of these, 8 of them agreed the humidity in the store was between 40% and 42%. One of them said 50%, so this one obviously is in error. Upon tapping them, the needle would typically settle back into the same place, so we know none of them are stuck like this and the needle is free floating. I tried to power up a digital hygrometer but it was disabled. Comparing it to the one the store uses in their cages, the humidity was 41%. I was willing to accept any hygrometer that read between 40% and 42%, which was almost all of them.

For $5 and a sample size large enough to find the ones obviously misadjusted, it’s a steal.

Operation Repo

Operation Repo continues to surprise me.

It started when the Caucasian Hitler Enthusiast Matt decided to yell something like “I LOVE STEALING BACK FROM BLACKS” in the first episode of the second, or third year. Hard to tell since the show was on well before that moment without much in terms of ratings. I’m absolutely sure it was intentionally done to increase ratings, not only does Matt work for Hispanics but the editors could have easily pulled it out.

Then Matt decided to roll a BMW. Since the repo guys are responsible for the property once they take possession of it, I’m sure it was a wonderful insurance claim. Matt spent the entire episode talking about pooping.

Matt got fired.

Last nights episode, Matt mysteriously shows up at a repo done in – of all things – the paintball yard he apparently takes his kids to. What are the odds, seriously? And if he knew there would be a repo going down there, why bring his kids? Did he just decide to hang out there all day? Someone gets shot in the bum with paintballs, the FNG locks himself in the truck, the cops come and apparently make a bunch of arrests. and since it’s california, they have tasers and not guns. Then Matt drives off on a motorcycle.

Then it gets wild. Apparently they go to repo a caddy SUV and it’s at a basketball court. The audience is told that they are helped by “on-star”, which is one more reason to not have your car talking to the world. Then when they go in for the repo, the guys playing basketball come over. Yelling ensues. This ends with them running off and… running back with guns. From nowhere. Presumably the guns were in their gym bags, or something, but it’s all real high end hardware (Sigs, HKs). Matt pukes.

Around this time they say that Matt’s been shot before, and they were all in the Marines, and that’s why Matt pukes around guns. This is about where you remember the show is a reenactment of repos, not the real thing.

Is it entertaining? Yes. But whoever is writing this crap needs to come up with another scapegoat that isn’t Matt.